Motherhood: a Spiritual Path
All spiritual traditions guide us towards becoming a more loving, conscious, and compassionate human being. Each path has specific practices and guidelines that are meant to support us in the awakening of our True Self, beyond the conditions and past experiences that have shaped us to be or to act in certain ways.
Having your heart beating outside of your body, as your precious little babe, is no small feat. Motherhood is a spiritual practice. Entering into it with awareness and the readiness to be transformed will help you to heal and allow you to expand in ways that you never knew possible.
The real work of a mama is the inner work. Especially in the moments that you feel depleted, undernourished, or disconnected from yourself, it’ll be easy to get triggered by the monotony (or unpredictability!) of your days. As with all close and conscious relationships, the relationship between you and your little one is meant to refine you. It will stretch you to become patient by giving you opportunities to practice patience; to become more loving not because you want to be, but because any other response will leave you more frustrated; to see all of the patterns of reaction that you have learned throughout your life, and to exercise your ability to respond with more kindness, more awareness, and more love.
The practice is to be steady internally; to notice your mind and emotions, but to not let your actions stem from them. Your mind may say “I don’t have time for this,” or “why isn’t he listening?” and your automated emotional response may be to become impatient or frustrated. You may then act from that anger or frustration, yelling, ignoring, or acting out with whatever learned strategy you’ve habituated from a lifetime of past experiences, instilling within your little one the same pattern that now has its grip on you.
As a mama, you have the opportunity to notice when you become triggered; when you are frustrated that he won’t sleep, angry that she won’t stop crying, pulled out of your center by the myriad of ways that he may or may not be acting.
It’s not him. What is this bringing up in me? As a mama, the practice is to take responsibility for your inner experience. As you become present to what is arising within you, notice your impulsive desire to act in a certain way. Instead, pause. Take a deep breath. Become present to the part of you that is steady beyond the emotion. How do you want to show up for your little one?
As much as possible, let your actions come from this steady place within you, where you choose how to respond, rather than projecting unhappiness, frustration, or dissatisfaction onto your babe. From that steady place, you get to show up with the love and attention that instills healthy beliefs and progressive opportunities for you and your baby to thrive. As you respond to your little one with more consciousness and love, you heal your own past as well; you rewrite your own stories and learned belief systems which allows you to live a deeper and more fulfilled life.
Reflect:
How did your parents discipline you? What were their patterns? How did they react based on their emotional experience rather than respond from a centered place?
What beliefs and patterns of reaction have you taken on because of this?
How is the energy behind your words and your actions shaping your child’s views of themselves?
Does the way that you show up for your child teach them that they are welcome to communicate with you?
What beliefs are you imprinting upon them that were imprinted upon you from your parents? Do these beliefs serve?
